


trying, trying, trying

by queerofcups



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 21:26:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14777525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofcups/pseuds/queerofcups
Summary: Phil tries not to think of Dan, the morning before they meet in person for the first time.





	trying, trying, trying

**Author's Note:**

> Written for phandomficfest's Wankers Day Flash Fic Fest.   
> (which is partly my comm and all of you should come participate)

Phil sighs as he strokes himself and kicks off the bed sheets. The house is quiet, it's too early for anyone to be awake, probably too early for anyone in the whole town to be awake. 

He’s been awake so long he’s barely slept. He’s too excited. It’s silly, to be in his twenties, an adult, and too excited to sleep over meeting a person. Except he is, he’s so excited. He’s meeting Dan in person for the first time today and so he’s awake so early the daylight is still a pale suggestion outside his window. 

He knows he should be asleep, and he’s tried everything else, so here he is, wanking to get to sleep. He’d planned for it to be a functional wank, nothing fancy, he hadn’t even bothered to get the lube from the kit under his bed, opting for some hand lotion. 

Except that in between the rote fantasies, faceless bodies of people doing things to him and each other, with his few hook up partners sprinkled in, there’s Dan.

There are his eyes. His mouth. His big, broad hands. His fucking collarbones.

Phil squeezes his eyes shut and stops wanking. No. He can’t. Dan would be probably be thrilled, it seems like every third word out of his mouth is about the way he and his friends used to experiment before he and his girlfriend got together, and how he loves her but he misses it a little bit. 

Phil’s not stupid. He knows that email and instant messenger is a little up for more interpretation, but he and Dan have been skyping for hours and hours now. In between the genuine conversations about Youtube, making videos and gaming and the late night whispers about their fears--that Phil won’t find a job that makes him happy, that Dan won’t find something that makes him feel anything at all--there’s the flirting. 

It’s one-sided. Phil doesn’t really care about the jokes his friends make and the way other Youtubers look at him when they ask about his followers and then make their eyes all big and oh-so- _ casually _ ask about Dan. But he cares that Dan has a girlfriend. And he cares that Dan wants him so much, because he’s still almost but not  _ quite _ certain whether it's Phil himself or  _ AmazingPhil _ that Dan wants. 

It’s all a mess, because Phil’s still awake and wanking, the day before Dan comes, and telling himself that he can’t have Dan even if he maybe, possibly wants him. Probably wants him a lot by the way his mind keeps drifting to the curve of Dan’s exposed hip in that  _ fucking _ stuffed animal naked booth. 

Phil just-- he gives up. It’s something like five am, he’s alone in his room and in his head, and Dan doesn’t have to know. He opens his eyes, looking down at the dark flushed head of his cock, fucking up into the ring of his hand and bites his bottom lip. He imagines knocking those dumb stuffed animals off of Dan, biting the little exposed bit of his hip and moving closer and closer…

He tilts his head back against his pillow, closing his eyes again and imagines himself sitting on this bed, Dan kneeling between his knees, sucking cock like he’s dying for it, mouth warm and wet and eyes wide as he looks up at Phil.

Phil groans at the thought, and the feeling of a swiftly oncoming orgasm. He thinks, now that he’s let himself go, that he might be able to go again before he goes to pick up Dan. He might have to. 

He imagines and imagines, mind shuffling through all the situations he hadn’t allowed himself to think of before--his mouth full of Dan’s cock, them rubbing together until the both come, clinging to one another, pressing Dan against a wall and just  _ kissing him _ , Phil on his back and Dan above him, his cock pumping in and out of Phil. Dan never stops fucking talking and Phil can just about hear him in his head,  telling Phil how good he feels, how hot and tight.

Phil’s hips buck up at the thought and he spreads his legs and reaching down to press up against his perineum. It’s takes a moment to find the right spot, but once he bites his bottom lip, imagining it's Dan hitting his prostate and not himself. It’s the right thought, he ruts a few more quick thrusts into his hand and comes with his mouth open, just barely choking back grunts. His come his stomach and his cock keeps dripping slowly when he uses his fingers to massage his prostate, chasing the last, pulsing feelings of his orgasm. 

Finally, when there’s nothing left, he collapses fully back onto the bed and looks up at the ceiling. Fuck. Now he’s going to meet Dan and all he’s going to think about is leading Dan in here and telling him exactly what he just did. 

Phil licks his lips and turns to reach for a few tissues. It’s fine. Dan won’t know. He can keep his hands and his thoughts to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Selena Gomez's "Can't Keep My Hands to Myself" which is full of *incredibly* generic lyrics.  
> Come say hi at queerofcups.tumblr.com


End file.
